January Goal # 4 Update: The Eye Twitch

Last Friday night proved to be very difficult for me with this goal.  Although I feel like I made it out alive without failing, failure might be inevitable.  However, in the mean time, I did devise a trick to make sure the eye roll doesn't happen.  Unfortunately, I look like I'm about to have a narcoleptic seizure each time.  It all started when my friends asked if I wanted to meet up for Happy Hour and watch the Cotton Bowl at The Happy Ending (no, it's not a massage pallor, it's actually a New York Giants bar in LA, trust, I know because I witnessed the Giants late season collapse there). 

While watching the game, I told my friends about goals number 4 and 7.  They kind of gave me that "gUrLLL...who are you trying to kid look."  After the game, we headed over to WeHo and I'm pretty sure those were the most trying 4 hours of my life.  The night was going on smoothly enough with the four of us drinking our vodkas and the mixers of choice and then it happened.  Three ironic nerd hipsters that looked like they could have been on the cast of "The Big Bang Theory" came over and introduced themselves.  I smiled, said "hi," introduced myself, and looked away.  That was the universal sign for "please leave me the F alone now."  However, of course, they kept talking, but that's what your friends are for right?  You can use them as a buffer while you check your phone to see who went to the gym that night or read status updates like "OMG, working on a Friday night, FML."  Five minutes later, those guys left and I never felt more proud of myself.

Next up came this dirty looking guy with curly long hair and circle glasses.  Kind of looked like an ugly Sherlock Holmes.  When this guy came up to talk to me, I really thought my friends at this point were trying to play sabotage to me accomplishing my goals.  The only thing redeeming about this guy was his two hot girlfriends (I'm always on the look out for hot girlfriends that can hang).  So, I just sucked it up and smiled, and introduced myself as John.  I was not lucky enough this time as he wanted to have an actual conversation.  I don't know what came over me, but as he kept talking, I kept blinking my eyes.  He mentioned he was an actor/writer/comedian (blink, blink, blink).  Then he mentioned he was in community college (that was like a stab in the heart, I had to literally spin my head 180 degrees and just shut my eyes for a bit).  Now I have nothing against community colleges, in fact, I wrote an entire dissertation on community colleges, but why I do get all the weirdo community college types?  Then he proceeded to ask about my day job and this is when the narcoleptic seizures began.  "I'm a personal assistant" - blink.  "I also nanny for this family and cook and clean for them.  I'll basically do anything outside of having sex for pay."  BLINK, BLINK, SHUT EYES, BLINK, BLINK, SHUT EYES, SHUT EYES --- "UMM, CAN WE PLEASE GO TO MICKEY'S NOW!?!"  Thankfully, my friends obliged and I chugged what was left of my drink and got the hell out of dodge.  The rest of the night was a little better since I just decided to have at rest bitch face.  I figured if I didn't look warm and inviting, I wouldn't have to worry about my friends calling 911 due to me having a seizure.

I told my friend Carla about this the next day and she kept pointing out to me that even if you roll your eyes with your eye lids closed, it's still rolling your eyes.  Sure, she has a point, but I mean, baby steps right?  Rome was not built in a day.