By not driving in today, I am certain to spend less than $20 on parking at work this month. I really wanted to, but the drive to Vegas and back this weekend and then to the Rose Bowl last night for the Legends of Summer Tour pretty much scared me out of going into a car again.
The think about the LA Metro is that not many Angelenos know about it. I mean, it's with good reason, as I have mentioned in the past, the people who take the Metro don't even look like they have cars and that for them, the Metro is a last resort. I do it to be environmentally conscious and so I can play Candy Crush on my phone. Okay, let's be real, I really only do it so I don't have to pay for gas...well and Candy Crush. However, there is a lot that I need to deal with when it comes to behaving right on the Metro. Proper metro etiquette is only something that I think New Yorkers get, which is surprising since they are also the rudest people on earth.
1. Let people out before you go in!: You don't even know how much this bothers me, whenever I'm waiting for the car doors to open, you already see a bunch of people standing at the door and then shoving their way in. WTF is up with that? In what world does it make sense to try to get in a car door when people are trying to get out. I get even more angry when I'm the one who wants to get off on my stop. Wait for the train to pull up, move to the side and let people out. There is more than enough time for you to get in there!
2. The escalator is not a ride at Disneyland or whatever gross theme park you enjoy: Here's the thing, I don't care if you want to be lazy and let the escalator carry you up, but please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, move over to the right so people can walk up on the left side. There is no reason why anyone should be standing in the middle of an escalator.
3. Sitting on the stairs: You can take a kid out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the kid. This also applies to lazy obese people. The stairs that lead you to the subway platform is not a stoop. Please don't sit there. There are often people rushing to catch a train and your dumbass is interfering with their work commute. Let's be real, if you're sitting on the bottom stair of a subway platform, you probably don't have a job. I bet there's a statistical significance to that correlation. The worse is when people are exiting a train and trying to walk up the stairs to exit and the stoopid sitter makes a face like we're making their life difficult by wanting to exit.
4. What you're selling, I ain't buying: I'm from NY, so if you want money from me during my morning and evening commute, you actually have to do something like a song and dance. You can't just be hollering on a train telling me you're broke and asking to give money. What do I get in return? And please don't say "feeling like a good person." Do a jumping jack for me! Why should I give you a dime if all you're doing is walking up and down a car telling people of some misfortune that may or may not be true. I see some of the same people every day. However, the biggest culprit of all, the kids who sell candy for a basketball team. Here's the thing, I went to a New York City public school and played sports, we did not have to sell candy on the subway...and if I don't want candy, don't try to check me and force me to buy it. I'm pretty sure your basketball coach did not tell you to terrorize people so you can get uniforms. And a bag of M&Ms for $3, bitch please, if I can get it at Walgreens for cheaper, that's where I'm going for my candy.
5. This next thing that drives me insane is just a list of characters that I often have to deal with as well:
a. homeless people
b. something that smells, it's not always a homeless person
c. wanna-be thugs
d. loud teenagers
e. people and their weird pets...there was a guy with a parrot that just kept shitting on his shirt
d. the drunks coming back from a Kings game
Yup, I do all this to save gas...I can't really figure out if it's really worth it yet.
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