Ma! I'm coming home for the holidays...

This happens every year.  I know the holiday break is around the corner and yet I still never get my ticket until 2-4 weeks before I fly out.  I was determined to not let that happen this year.  I was determined to at least buy tickets 6 weeks in advance.  That I did!  The only thing is I'm flying home Christmas Day at 6AM.  Jesus Christ!  That's early...The thing with buying tickets so late is that I always end up paying an arm and a leg to fly home.  I send out disclaimers to my family that their gift me their oldest son coming home to visit them.  That's right, I'm the muthaeffing present. 

I love Christmas, I'm not religious and I don't really care for holidays in general, but I really love Christmas (probably because I was never stabbed on that day).  There's just something about snow and Mariah Carey.  There's something about seeing people's faces when they get unwrap presents (I don't really care for presents either).  It's just a wonderful time of the year.  I mean, even wash up actors and actresses, or starlettes who want to become actresses get to be in made-for-tv holiday movies  on the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime.  Where else are you going to find movies with Freddie Prinze Jr or Brian Austin Green?  Ashanti and Christina Milian has been known to make appearance in these also. 

Ticket prices were no exception this year.  I'm flying the morning of Christmas day and coming back on January 6th.  I spent my first NYE in LA last year and was not too amused, so decided that it would just make sense to extend my trip home.  Then there's that game you play with your PTO.  Flying back on the 1st is expensive because everyone needs to get back on the 2nd and then the 2nd is Thursday, so most people will probably extend holiday by taking the 2nd and the 3rd off and fly back Saturday or Sunday which is still expensive, so that left me with Monday.  I thought that taking 3 PTO days were worth the $300 savings as well as more time in NY.  In the end of the day, it's not really value wise in terms of the sticker price of a PTO day, but you can't put a price tag on family time. 

The one sad thing about flying in Christmas Day this year is I don't get to spend a Christmas Day tradition watching a movie and then heading to the Tick Tock Diner under the New Yorker Hotel after with my friend Angie.  We both don't really care for Christmas, so we along with every other non-Christian go to the movies and the diners together.  Last year we saw Les Mes.  Now that's a feel good movie everyone should go see!

I think the more important point here is that I'm spending two weeks at home.  I really need to figure out how I can make this work out.  That's a long long time...

I'm a homeowner!

So escrow finally closed on Wednesday, November 20th.  I also call it the day I officially went broke and will be poor for the rest of my life, but whatever, I have equity.  Equity is like a consolation now for liquid assets.  How do I go to the bank to collect on equity. 

The home buying process was the most stressful thing I've ever gone through in life.  At the same time though, it was relatively easy for me compared to some of the horror stories I heard from friends who have gone through the process.  It was only in August that I decided to find myself a real estate agent.  Once I met with Roxane and Amir form Rodeo Realty, the rest was history.  I started looking at condos right after my brother's wedding in September.  In total, I saw 11 condos.  I put my first offer down on the 8th condo back in October.  I got outbid and came in second and was crushed.  A week later, after a work trip to Seattle, I came back and saw the 11th condo and just went for it.  Boom!  Offer accepted!  My boss basically described the process like me buying a pair of shoes.  In fact I'm sure some women have take longer to invest in a pair of shoes than I did with this home search.  It was not that easy though, for the month that I was looking, I made it my life.

I won't bore you with the details of contracts, loans, and all the paperwork involved as I didn't go insane during the 30 day escrow period.  The only thing that got me to lose my mind a little bit was when I had to take money out of the bank to fund my escrow account.  During that time, I learned a couple things:
1. HSBC is full of morons in their front line who gives wrong information
2. HSBC does not allow you go complain over the phone to customer service, I actually need to go to a bank for that.
3. HSBC does not have your money.  I'm sorry, if a bank doesn't have a couple thousand sitting around in cash, that is not a good sign.
4. The USC Credit Union gives free cashier's checks.  
5. Wiring fees are EXPENSIVE...

On to Sherwin-Williams to look at color swatches!

My LACMA Cherry Pop

I came in like a wrecking ball...

So the blogging has been limited this month given that almost all the goals are end of month oriented.  I did however go to the LACMA for the first time ever.  I mean, I've been by the Urban Light exhibit, but I never went in. 

I don't really care to discuss art.  I worked at an art school (my first real job out of college) and I had to deal with artsy folks and artsy type pre-college teens who find meaning in everything.  I see a picture of people walking around at the mall and I take it for face value, the artist sees mass commercialization in a society where we overspend.  I see a fruit basket painting and the artist sees contrasts and two focus points.  Now that's not to say I cannot talk about art, I'm just not pretentious enough to see a paint splash on white canvas and care to talk about it for 15 minutes about what a trendsetter the painter was.  For all I know, he spilled paint on a canvas and it made spotchie splots. 

I spent four hours at the museum using words like "juxtaposition" and "contrast."  And then used phrases like "you can really see the hurt in her eyes, she's frighten by the sight of the post-modern word."  Most often than not, I'm like "OMG, titties..."  I really want to take someone to a museum one day and just run up to a piece and go "OMG, this is my FAVORITE piece EVER!"  Go into a tangent about why and then in reality, it's really a rock. 

The best part of the exhibit other than the wrecking ball (see picture) was when everyone started going into this dark room behind a curtain.  You look up and all you saw was a reflection of a light.  A REFLECTION OF A LIGHT!  People were starring and really thinking about probably what I was thinking about.  WTF are we doing here and what is this supposed to be?!?  Yup, that was pretty much the course of the evening at the LACMA. 

Octoberfest!

Accomplishing my goals were difficult this month.  Why?  Because I'm tired.  I don't generally use that as an excuse too much because everyone is tired, but this month felt different.  I had too much going on.  I found a home and an offer was accepted!  The excitement was short lived since after that, my life became a whirlwind trying to close escrow.  I'm still not really sure what escrow is.  On top of that, I had two trips, one to Seattle, the other to Vancouver, so not a lot of time to actually do stuff.

Alas, it begins the tabulations...

Goal #1: I'm so made at myself on this one because I had the day off yesterday and all I had to do was go for a jog and that would have been the 15th exercise day, but I got super lazy and I was still livid from the parking violations bureau (see below).  So needless to say, I exercised 14 times this month, which I still think is better than the American average.  Thank god for straight married people because they balance out the average of the WeHo gays... (.93/1)

Goal #2: I know picking up items from the tailor's should be easy but it's not for me.  I found this awesome Korean lady when I was living in Sherman Oaks.  Please go see Christine as she is amazing.  I brought in a peacoat and a courdory blazer to have it fitted.  So for you non Angelenos, Sherman Oaks is in the valley.  I love the valley, so I'm not talking shit, it's just far from where I live now and far from where I work.  I used to commute a good hour to an hour and a half to get to work one-way!  So when your tailor closes at 6pm M-F and is only open for Saturday in which I'm usually on the road for work, you can imagine how difficult it will be for someone to pick their stuff up.  However, it was done as I had a half day from work and it was just sitting there for a month.  At least I had some free closet space when it happened. (1)

Goal #3: Never made it to the bunny spa.  I'm always having to reschedule!  But she is a lot happier roaming free in my balcony. Goose Egg!

Goal #4: OMG, this parking permit situation...I don't care, I'm giving myself a point for trying.  I went to the god damn place 3 times!  And each time, there was an excuse governed by the red tape that is the shit show of the LA Parking Violations Bureau or you can just yelp them.  They make even getting a parking permit difficult.  First of all, there is no free parking, so you can meter park for an hour or you can do garage parking for a price of I didn't even bother finding out how much it was. 
First time: I just walked out of the place because my meter was expiring, yes that's how long I waited.
Second time: I didn't have a utility bill.  I even told them I would pull it up from my phone and they told me I had to make a copy of it.  To make things worse, apparently my building isn't zoned for guest parking, so I have to get an annual pass.  That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.  My specific building doesn't qualify for guest parking so I can only get annual passes?  And the utility thing is bullshit.  My license and registration alone should prove my residency.  Whatever, I walked off.
Third time: Yesterday October 31st.  I brought everything and I was ready to purchase my permit and guess what I was told!?!  My district's fiscal year ends today, October 31st so I will need to come back tomorrow to buy a new annual permit.  WTF?  You can't sell me a permit one day early?  And WTF kind of annual time goes from Nov to Oct.  To top it off, the dumb bitch told me that she can see me the permit for one day for $11.50 and then come back tomorrow for a new one.  I basically told her I thought this process was ridicious and that this was my third time here.  I walked out fuming and basically told my friend Carla on the phone that I was going to give it my best Left Eye and burn this muthafucking place down. (1 - for all the effort).

Goal #5: Did it but decided not to be Miley Cyrus (1).

Goal #6: See Seattle post (1). 

Goal #7: I was in Vancouver this past weekend and all I wanted to do was see a black bear in the live.  I packed my bags and drove up to Whistler.  The drive was postcard.  That's the only way I can describe it.  They have these bear hikes for $119, but I thought that was stupid since you can't really be guaranteed to see a bear.  I figured if I was to walk on the same trail, I would most likely see one as well.  No luck during our afternoon hike.  At night while drinking at the hotel bar, the bartender told us that on our drive back to Vancouver, if we look in the open meadows under the sun, we can see them as well.  No dice.  There were so many bear crossing signs and I couldn't see a single one.  Luckily,  I saw this cute little bear at the airport.  Well, there was also the one I saw at the Fiesta Cantina out in WeHo.  (1).

Goal #8: Buy boots?  Hmmm, I don't know that I need to give myself a zero for this.  I only had this goal because I was going to be wrecking ball Miley Cyrus for Halloween...

Goal #9: Let's put it this way...I put down two.  The first I came in as the back up offer and the second was accepted!  (1)

Goal #10: Going to an Adam Levine concert counts! (1)

7.93 out of 10.  That's actually not as bad as I thought it would be...

Costume Change!

So I've been growing my hair out to have the Miley Cyrus "Wrecking Ball" look as of late.  The other day, I decided to have a costume change for Halloween.  I decided this when I realized that if I only walked around in panties and a wife beater, where the hell would I put my wallet, keys, and cell phone?  I know what everyone is thinking, but these items are not illegal drugs and I am not walking through a metal detector. 

It was brought to my attention that I should just go dressed as Jeremy Lin.  I made the horrible mistake of not being slutty last year and got a lot of shit from my friends for being the red telly tubby.  The costume was masterful and what a costume should be.  I had everything down to the T.  The only problem with it was that I went out with a bunch of slutty "insert anything."  Plus it also got really hot at certain points of the night.  So this year, I'm going to be a slutty Jeremy Lin.  I have no clue what that really entails, so I bought myself kids size Houston Rockets jerseys and shorts.  The jersey came yesterday and apparently a kid's XL is still a little too big for me.  I wanted it to be so tight that my ribs pop out.  The other problem I have with the JLin thing is that I might just be confused for an 80's basketball player or the John Stockton version of Jeremy Lin with the short shorts and the tight jersey.  #sluttyhalloweenproblems

Eating until Sleepless in Seattle

I travel quite a bit for work.  I don't get taken anywhere too exotic (although that will change fairly soon as I'm making some moves), but I don't complain because it's just basically a free wine and dine way of life for me.  I choose to eat at the best restaurants and order things I would never order if paying for meals on my own.  Double shot in the morning for breakfast at Starbucks?  Why not?  Appetizers during lunch and dinner?  Well of course...

Seattle was a little different though.  Before coming here, everyone who has been has only talked about what a great food city it is.  I love seafood, so naturally, I was excited for this.  Before arriving, the only impression I had on Seattle was Grey's Anatomy and that the days are always wet and gloomy.  I got here Sunday and had the entire day to myself to just enjoy and be a tourist.  The place reminded me so much of New York City, or at least downtown Seattle did.  I did all the touristy stuff, the Space Needle (I didn't go up because it was $26 to do so...I work in the 29th floor, so I've seen views before), Pier 70 (aka where the Real World: Seattle house was and where Stephen slaps Irene for calling him a homo and then throwing her stuffed animal down the water), Pike Place Market, I almost even almost went to a Seahawks game.  I figured I would just walk up to the stadium in the third quarter and offer a scalper $5. 

My first interaction with food in Seattle was on a warm sunny October afternoon walking down the pier (it was quite weird that it was a warm sunny October afternoon because I totally thought it would be cold, gloomy, and raining).  I found this cute little place called Anthony's and ordered a fried battered salmon and chips.  Delicious!  It was like eating chicken tenders, but fish!  Perfect paring while watching the Seahawks game on tv.

Eww...and yes, I'm aware that I'm brushing my teeth during this.

Dinner for day two was at Ivar's Acres of Clams, the original seafood house in Seattle as a sign says.  My boss and I had a bottle of wine for $20 and then shared some seafood cocktails before pretty much inhaling our clam chowder.  It was so good!  After taking what seemed to be an hour decided on what to eat, I chose to have the 14 oz lobster tail.  I'm retarded when it comes to weight and stuff, so I thought it was going to be small.  Either that or I thought that it would be like LA portions.  We don't really eat in LA because we're too busy trying to be skinny. I even finished some of my boss' mussels.  That dinner was a big mistake as it kept me up all night.  I was in a food coma and couldn't fall asleep because I was so stuffed!  I thought about going to the gym for a run just so i don't feel as heavy, but didn't have running sneakers and I was not about to join the Westin work out program.  $5 to rent sneakers and work out clothes is kind of disgusting.  #footfungus

Last night for dinner and apparently it's lunch today as well, we went to Metropolitan Grill for some fancy steak.  It was such an old school steakhouse.  The waiters had their vest and spoke of their steak like it was some form of art.  I didn't realize how big the portions were, either that or I was still full from last night's dinner.  I had half and had to make it to go.  I also couldn't decide so I figured surf and turf was the way to go.  Sidebar: I'm distracted at the moment right now because a woman is dictating text message on her iphone and she kind of sounds like a robot.  Suri understands your regular voice!  It was also a dinner with our partners for a fellowship program and by the end of the night, I think I offered to dog sit and play beach volleyball.  I'm not sure how that happened.

Today is my last day in Seattle.  I need to get back to LA and hit the gym HARD!

An offer on my dream home

Barbie's Dream Home.  Mine is similar, but not!

I found my dream home last Tuesday.  It was one of those that I knew was the one and I was willing to put my savings account at 0 for.  It's super cute and in the Hollywood Hills.  It has that mix of big city, yet feeling like you are in the middle of nowhere because you're so secluded.  It's funny that type of environment is my flavor considering I grew up in Manhattan.  Then again, I went to college in the Hamptons, so we totally saw it coming.  I always said the Hamptons was like the quieter half-sister of Manhattan.  It's the same demographic of people anyways. 

After we finished viewing the place, my realtors asked me what I thought, I pretty much just told them I had to have it.  Which is weird too because I normally don't have to have anything.  I just told my realtor to do whatever it took to give it to me.  Needless to say, it's been a stressful week.

Tuesday - saw my dream home!
Wednesday - threw in my offer.  Offers were be taken until 5pm on Thursday, seller had until Friday at 5pm to respond back to me on my offer. 
Thursday - seller decides to go through with an open house on Sunday to see if he can get more offers!
Friday - seller throws out a counter offer to all bidders and I have until Monday to decide what to do with the offer.  I consulted a relator friend and he gave me some valuable advice in that since the seller is only countering with $3K more, I most likely have the highest offer.
Saturday - called my realtor and told her I was sticking with my offer and not a dollar more.
Sunday - Open House
Monday - it's a waiting game at this point.  Fingers crossed as I will find out if I will be a home owner!!!